..:10 Weeks Left:..

10 weeks left. Hon is cutting. Thank goodness! It's much easier to eat well when he is cutting. Why? Because there is less temptations around. It's day #5 and I feel great. It's been clean eating of meats, veggies and fruits. I have no cravings right now.

Earlier this morning at our training, there sat a bowlful of Hersey chocolates and colorful Starbursts... I didn't even eat one! I did take 4 dark chocolates and put them in my desk so I can have them to give to the kids. This is NOT like me... I love chocolate and I usually never say "No!"

Yes, I diet and yes, it's become a healthy life style choice too. However, I have to admit I never did it cleanly for weeks. The longest clean consecutive days I have had is probably 14 days. Now I am attempting to go 42 days. I always had cheat days and then back to dieting. It was as if I was dieting and working out so that I could eat the chocolates and the cupcakes! Basically a balance of good and bad food.

Right now, I feel like I'm overcoming it... This whole mind over matter. And I know I am going to win.

My scheduled cheat day is when Lia comes into town. It will just be one cheat meal! I've also swore off alcohol til then too. I feel like my body just needs to be cleansed! I did well. I went to eat with some friends the other day and I made very smart choices. I let go of the thought of "Well I'm out with friends. I'm going to pay for it, why not order something yummy and delicious." or "I'm celebrating, so I could cheat!"  There will be another test this weekend when I go to lunch with the girls. We're going to Old Spaghetti Factory (lots of pasta!). I already looked at their menu online and decided I'd order a chicken salad.

Hon is helping me by measuring my body fat... So I am not concentrating on the weight loss, but the fat loss! I have not weighed myself in 5 days! ---> this is different because I usually weigh myself almost everyday to keep myself in check. Lately I have been more motivated to workout because I notice the changes in my body. I actually have a BUTT now! :)

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"What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them

What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they're done"

..:Snow Day Reflections:..

Having the day off was great! I got to do some research about our summer trip. Catch up on some emails and of course BLOG!!

My mother is feeling better. Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers and sending her positive vibes! Some of her vision in her "good eye" returned so she is able to see. It's still frightening to know that she will eventually go blind. My siblings and I have been trying to spend extra time with her... We have been talking about taking her somewhere nice and just spending a week together. I know my mother would enjoy that very much! I'd also like to hire a photographer to capture some of these moments while we are on this family vacation too. As much as I'd rather wait til I have a little one to also be a part of this memory, I am unsure if my mom's vision will still be there. I can't think about myself during these times.

Lately, I have been questioning my profession. I'm sure it's just a first-year-teacher's-feelings, but it's been difficult. I have good and bad days... However, lately it's been many more bad days than good days. I've been stressed about assessments, social/ emotional situations and lessons! I do try to stay positive by reminding myself why I took this route. I know why I am here (in my heart), but sometimes in my mind it isn't logical and not going to work. I really wish teachers were more appreciated and valued here in America. Our nation is behind in Education because we don't value education and it doesn't come first!! Seriously sports and entertainment comes first in America!

I have excellent news! My sister had her son almost two weeks ago. He was a beautiful, healthy seven pound baby boy named Austin. I'm so proud of her for going through labor. She is so strong. From the details she told me, I am scared to have a child. My desire to have children or at least the number of children has significantly decreased over the past five years. I went from desiring five children to now satisfied with just one! :)

I can not wait for June to arrive! Honey and I will be spending 3 weeks in Thailand and Vietnam. It's alot of work researching and planning, but it'll all be worth it. I can't wait to eat from the street vendors, shop at the night markets, sip on drinks on the rooftops in Bangkok, visit temples, eat fresh seafood at the beach and devour PHO in honey's homeland!! What else is special about this trip!!? It'll be my 28th birthday and our one-year wedding anniversary... We will definitely be celebrating it!!!