Seriously, NOTHING is working out like how I planned it to be or imagined it to be.. We have not established a set schedule yet. Everyday Julian's been ruling the house and all our lives. He eats, sleeps, etc. whenever he wants to. I have tried and am still trying to get him to follow a routine. Some days are better than others. Some days, I just end up crying a little bit with him. Because my back aches from dancing him to sleep. Because I am tired and sleep deprived. Because I know he is tired and sleep deprived too. And because my heart is overflowing with love for this boy.
So far, his colic (or should I say the Period of Purple) is near its end. Thank goodness! That 6-8 week period of brutal. There was so much crying between him and me, we probably could fill a lake! This colic (or should I say the Period of Purple) is the worst ever. It's robbed my son of his time, happiness and effects so many aspects of his life. Because of it, he hates car rides, strollers, car seats... Dare I go anywhere (or he),,, I dread taking him places because it's non-stop tears and my heart breaks every time. Even if it's just a few minutes car ride to Target or Walmart. Because of colic, he doesn't want the bottle, therefore I can't leave him for long. Right now, I can't even book a dental appointment or sign Emma up for classes yet. Our lives are on hold for the day that he is all better. Poor baby!
He is starting to smile and talk, which literally melts my heart and it makes it all worth it. I know that things are getting better but I am still waiting for the day when it's ALL better. I have to remind myself that he is new in this world. He is learning and this is forced me to become a better mother.
Something that is the same everyday is his bedtime routine. I am glued to the monitor constantly checking to make sure he is asleep. I hate to hear and see him cry since he cries so much from his colic.
His bedtime routine:
-lay out his clothes and diaper
-lay him down to change his diaper and clothes
-turn on the melody (20 mins) then white noise
-put him down
-he wakes and cries
-feed him again
-put him down
--he wakes and cries
-feed him again
-put him down (3x, that should be it)
-Sometimes there's a 4th feed, rock and put him down
It takes about an hour to do this. I start at 7 PM and he is officially down by 8 PM. Luckily with Emma, it's easy and Daddy does it.
Emma's bedtime routine:
-say "Good-night" to everyone
-All in 20-30 mins
Emma's been so good about her littler brother. She's so helpful and caring. She wants to hug him and talk to him. She tells him, "It's okay, I am here." "I will help you." "Don't cry." "No, Mommy. He is a prince." We are so blessed to have her!
I have managed to squeeze in some Me-Time since he has gotten better and Daddy can help out. My Me-Time is going to Planet Fitness and burning some calories. I leave a bottle of freshly pumped milk for Daddy to give him. But he doesn't take it.. So my workouts are 45-60 mins and I rush home to nurse him. At the gym, I am only thinking of him... Is he up yet? Oh, he must be crying now? I bet he is hungry and wants his Mommy now. Oh, these guilty feelings!! It's been tough to focus on me. I am very Thankful to have wonderful In-Laws that allowed me to put 110% into just being a Mom.
Baby boy... Soon you'll have better days. Mommy loves you very very much! Xoxo.